Note of Gratitude from
the Family of
As a result, you don't have the education, upbringing, connections,
manners, appearance, and good taste to ever become one of us.
In fact, you'd probably need a book the size of the yellow pages
to list all the unfair advantages we have over you. That's why
we're so relieved to know that you still continue to believe all
those silly fairy tales about "justice" and "equal
opportunity" in America.
Of course, in a hierarchical social system like ours, there's
never been much room at the top to begin with. Besides, it's
already occupied by us - and we like it up here so much that we
intend to keep it that way. But at least there's usually someone
lower in the social hierarchy you can feel superior to and kick
in the teeth once in a while. Even a lowly dishwasher can easily
find some poor slob further down in the pecking order to sneer
and spit at. So be thankful for migrant workers, prostitutes,
and homeless street people. (And don't ever forget that if
you become trouble to us, you could wind up as one of them).
Always remember that if everyone like you were economically secure
and socially privileged like us, there would be no one left to
fill all those boring, dangerous, low-paid jobs in our economy.
And no one to fight our wars for us, or blindly follow orders
in our totalitarian corporate institutions. And certainly no
one to meekly go to their grave without having lived a full and
creative life. So please, keep up the good work!
You also probably don't have the same greedy, compulsive drive
to possess wealth, power and prestige that we have. And even
though you may sincerely want to change the way you live, you're
also afraid of the very change you desire, thus
keeping you and others like you in a nervous state of limbo.
So you go through life mechanically playing your assigned social
role, terrified what others would think should you ever dare to
"break out of the mold." Naturally, we try to play
you off against each other whenever it suits our purposes: high-waged
workers against low-waged, unionized against non-unionized, Black
against White, male against female, American workers against Japanese
against Mexican against
We continually push your wages
down by invoking "foreign competition," "the law
of supply and demand," "national security," or
"the bloated federal deficit." We throw you on the
unemployed scrap heap if you step out of line or jeopardize our
profits. And to give you an occasional break from the monotony
of our daily economic blackmail (and extortion), we allow you
to participate in our stage-managed electoral shell games, better
known as "elections." Happily, you haven't a clue as
to what's really happening - instead, you blame
"(illegal) Aliens," "Tree-hugging Environmentalists,"
"Niggers," "Jews," "Welfare Queens,"
and countless others for your troubled situation.
We're also very pleased that many of you still embrace the "work
ethic," even though most jobs in our economy degrade the
environment, undermine your physical and emotional health, and
basically suck your one and only life right
out of you. We obviously don't know much about work,
but we're sure glad that YOU do!
Of course, life could be different. Society could
be intelligently organized to meet the real needs of the general
population. You and others like you could collectively
fight to free yourselves from our domination. But you don't know
that. In fact, you can't even imagine that another way of
life is possible. And that's probably the greatest, most
significant achievement of our Republic - robbing you of your
imagination, your creativity, your ability to think and act for
yourself. By God, it's good to be rich in America!
So we'd truly like to thank each and every one of you from the
bottom of our heartless hearts. Your loyal sacrifice makes possible
our corrupt luxury; your work makes our
republic work. Thanks so much for "knowing your place"
- without even knowing it!
(This article is offered in good humor, and is not actually representative of the Washington family, even though the basic logic is flawless and accurate. This piece is from Rabble Review, C/O Tom Wheeler, POBox 4710, Arlington, VA 22204, and was excerpted from an important zine called "Thought Bombs," published by Anthony Rayson, 27009 S. Egyptian Trail, Monee, IL 60449)
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